Boosting your self-esteem is essential for personal growth and well-being. However, one of the things a lot of us don’t know about self-esteem is that it doesn’t remain the same forever. From day to day and moment to moment, it has the tendency to shift. There are some days when you’ll feel your sense of self-worth is on top of the world and you feel so good about who you are. And in just a short moment, you might be flooded by an array of negative thoughts.

Most of the time, it takes energy to keep your self-esteem high daily, and this may become a bit too exhausting. As shown by research, it’s not healthy to constantly pursue high self-esteem. What is recommended is that you work on improving your self-esteem through an improvement in your well-being.

What is Self-esteem?

Having an understanding of what the term self-esteem represents is vital in having a good comprehension of how to care for your self-esteem. The way you evaluate yourself positively and the degree to which you do that is what self-esteem refers to. Most times, we tend to think our self-esteem is rooted in comparing ourselves with others and it shows the level at which we value or like ourselves.

What you have achieved and the opinion you have about yourself can impact your self-esteem. In this age of social media where we’re bombarded by lifestyle content, it’s easy for us to be swayed by this and have our self-esteem susceptible to fluctuations when we adopt the lifestyle of the gram as the standard of our lives.

More so, the way you practice “self-talk” can be affected by your self-esteem. There’s a high possibility that you’ll be focused on self-criticism and negative thoughts if you do a self-introspection and discover that you’re lagging in some things in life. It’s also important to note that your confidence and self-esteem aren’t the same things.

While the way you see yourself is usually affected by your self-esteem, your perception of your talents and skills gets heavily influenced by your self-confidence. Your self-confidence improves through how you’ve been able to use your experiences and skills to solve problems while your self-esteem can be impacted by your environment, dramatic life changes, and experienced traumas, plus it gets developed and starts fluctuating right from childhood.

What Can Lower Your Self-esteem?

Given that our self-esteem tends to fluctuate in different moments and situations, it’s vital to know how this self-esteem is lowered by several distinct factors. You can increase your level of self-awareness, make your self-esteem thrive, and come up with an action plan to keep your self-esteem from dropping when you uncover why it’s falling. And, here are common causes;

Abuse

Your self-esteem can be hurt by difficult and abusive relationships you had during your adulthood or childhood, especially if it’s coming from your parents. One of the mistakes a lot of African parents make is hurling insulting words at their kids all in the name of discipline, not knowing that they’re damaging their children’s self-esteem. As shown by research, certain people suffer from low self-esteem due to the emotional and physical abuse they suffered from people around them or their parents.

Mindset

If negative thoughts have married your mind, your self-esteem will definitely be lowered through the fixed mindset and pessimistic attitude it’s rooted in. With a poor mindset, your confidence will suffer because you’ll keep living in the belief that you’re not made for anything positive or you aren’t good enough.

Life Events

Life events have a way of either making us feel down or upbeat. And likewise, they can impact your self-esteem. For instance, if you were running for a position in your school or office and you lost, this could affect and lower your self-esteem. This incident can make you become self-criticizing. Your self-esteem can also take a hit when you move from one city to another, change jobs, or graduate from school.

Social Standards

As I already mentioned that we’re constantly pressed by the flashy lifestyle people post on social media, it’s easy for us to start using our appearance and possessions as our basis for self-worth. Your self-esteem can be lowered through body image, seeking validation from others, and a host of other external sources.

Goal Setting

There’s nothing wrong with setting goals. In fact, it’s recommended. But what’s important is that you set them properly because setting unrealistic and unattainable goals will make these goals work against you. Since you were not able to achieve them, there’s a high tendency that you’ll start thinking poorly of yourself. Even when you know that those goals aren’t realistic or achievable, you’ll only be suffering your self-esteem when you proceed with such goals.

Signs and Effects of Low Self-esteem

Your mental health can be harmed by regular negative self-talk, which means that your mental health can suffer when you’re suffering from low self-esteem. An indication that you have low self-esteem is when you’re extremely critical of yourself. And if you’re not so sure if you have low or high self-esteem, here are some sure indications that you have poor self-esteem;

• You feel worthless, angry, ashamed, anxious, depressed, or sad
• You feel extremely upset by criticism or disapproval
• Fear of failure makes you avoid challenges
• You don’t accept compliments
• You think you don’t deserve to have fun
• When things go wrong, you blame yourself
• You ignore your achievements but focus on your negatives
• You joke about yourself in a negative manner
• You’re being critical of yourself and saying negative things about who you are

There’s an array of mental health issues that are associated with lower levels of self-esteem, and they include;

• Stress
• Suicidal thinking
• Substance use
• Social anxiety disorder
• Risky behaviors
• Panic disorder
• Internet addiction
• Emotional distress
• Eating disorders
• Depression
• Anxiety

How to Improve Your Self-esteem

There’s a whole lot of difference you can make to your well-being when you have a good level of self-esteem. Nevertheless, you should know that building healthy self-esteem isn’t an easy task but you can bolster your self-esteem through these few tactics;

• Know Your Strengths

No matter how bad you may think you are, you’ll likely have some admirable traits, and on top of that, you’ll have your strengths. You’ll be able to improve your self-talk when you recognize the things you admire about who you are and your skills. Keeping a journal will come in very handy in helping you to be more aware of all the things you admire or enjoy.

• Quit People-pleasing

If you notice that you always see it as an obligation to say yes to everything people say, it’s an indication that you have poor self-esteem and this will make you care less about your mental health and focus more on others. People-pleasing will make you vulnerable to humongous stress because you’ll likely be overwhelmed and learning how to say no can help recharge your self-esteem.

• Move Out of Your Comfort Zone

If you notice you’re avoiding new opportunities and challenges, it’s an indication that you are suffering from low self-esteem. Self-doubt or fear can also make you stay in your comfort zone. Brace yourself to try new things by stepping out of your comfort zone.

• Quit Comparing Yourself With Others

If the way people are living their lives and are fairing well is what you establish to evaluate your self-worth and progress in life, then you’re doing a lot of damage to yourself. Whether you like it or not, there will be some people who are above your level in terms of knowledge, wisdom, or even other things.

And even if that’s the case, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or completely bad. For you to quit this unhealthy habit of comparison, you may need to take a break from social media. Keep it registered in your mind that you’re not competing with the progress of other people but learn to appreciate your uniqueness and differences.

• Forgive Yourself

Low self-esteem will make you treat yourself poorly or even miss out on valuable opportunities. When you keep thinking about the past and how much it has cost you, you’ll definitely feel very bad but to let go and move on, you must forgive yourself.

• Set Boundaries

Boundaries are very important to feel better about who we are and to also draw the line. Think of it country-wise. Countries all over the world have their clear boundaries amongst all countries, which are respected, and these boundaries help them assert control over what belongs to them. With boundaries, you’ll be able to practice assertiveness while you don’t let anybody control or take advantage of you.

• Celebrate Your Wins

There are different sizes in which wins come in. Don’t have your eyes on the big victories alone that you’ll neglect all your little wins. No matter how little your wins may be, celebrate them and you can ride on the momentum they give to keep moving and thriving.

• Let go of Negative People

Negative people will always make you feel less of who you are. Their actions and interactions with you can damage your level of self-esteem and also impact your mood. Let negative people go and in the same light, banish negative thoughts too. Choose to surround yourself with positive people who are not always filling you with self-doubt, jesting with your mistakes, or reminding you of your flaws.

• Improve Your Physical Health

If you’re fit and healthy, you’ll definitely find it easy to feel good about yourself. Low self-esteem has a way of making you neglect yourself because you’ll feel you are not worth the effort. When you feel this way, focus on becoming healthier. Exercise more, eat healthily, and don’t deprive yourself of good sleep.