One of the things a lot of people don’t know or are ignorant of is that all aspects of our lives are shaped by how we handle our emotions. And this calls for us to learn how to respond better to challenges that face us. Your emotions are like compulsory gifts given to you and you have to own them because not owning them comes with dreadful consequences. Emotional resilience simply relates to becoming a master of your emotions by maintaining balance during stressful times and developing healthy coping mechanisms.

People who are emotionally resilient often have a positive meaning to draw from a situation or circumstance that seems negative and they’re poised to bounce forward when life shows its ugly colors. There are some moments in our lives when our emotions will be put to test. And, if you don’t want to crumble under pressure, you need to start employing emotional resilience strategies to your advantage.

What is Emotional Resilience?

Basically, our emotional resilience helps us hang onto hope whenever we’re facing some of life’s lows. It’s more like an inner force that helps to motivate us intrinsically and after we’ve had an ugly experience, it also helps to relax our troubled minds. Throughout our life; after we’ve been born, this trait; emotional resilience, has registered its presence; with the propensity for growth and development, just as it’s also found with social intelligence, emotional intelligence, and a host of other persona aspects.

As humans, we are emotionally down at times, given life’s several imbalances blending with the need to adapt to the ever-changing lifestyle and revolution. However, our emotional resilience is there to help us keep flying, despite the bumps, and it’s also important to note that it isn’t just about coming victorious from a battle.

Referring to an act of retaliating or ‘to bounce back’, ‘resilio’ is the Latin word that the word ‘resilience’ originates from. Our emotional resilience helps us to evolve beyond challenges and pains and it serves to improve our perception of adversities as ‘non-permanent’. It as well encompasses enhanced cognition, self-compassion, and self-belief as an art of living.

Elements of Emotional Resilience

Also known to be the dimensions of emotional resilience; for us to bring an improvement on our resilience or even build it, we must resonate with these pillars, which are three;

• The Physical Element. This simply evolves around vitality, good health, energy, and physical strength.
• The Psychological or Mental Element. This has to do with reasoning ability, thinking capacity, self-expression, emotional awareness and regulation, self-confidence, self-esteem, focus and attention, and adjustability.
• The Social Element. Just as the word “social” sounds, this includes co-operation, communication, likeability, group conformity, and your relationship with your partner, community, friends, parents, kids, colleagues, and other interpersonal relationships.

To build emotional resilience, you’ll also need these three cogent skill sets;

1. Personal Skills. In managing your life, you’ll find these skills to be very much needed and some of the crucial ones include emotional regulation, beating procrastination, frustration and anxiety management, problem-solving, reasoning, thinking, self-esteem, empathy, and self-acceptance.

While you may probably think that these skills may not mean much, it’s essential that you know that the absence of these personal skills in your life may leave you vulnerable to anomalies such as stress disorders, low productivity, depression, and anxiety. In fact, for you to build emotional resilience and strength, it’s critical that you practice unconditional self-acceptance.

2. Social Skills. Interpersonal relationships are necessary for our growth and for us to sustain them or even think of starting any, we need social skills. Our need for social skills becomes more pertinent because of our label as “social creatures” and because no man is an island and neither can a man survive on his own, we must learn to co-exist by learning to be cooperative, enjoy the comfort of a group, and communicate better.

We’ll be able to positively manage burnouts and become more emotionally resilient when we improve on our interaction with others. Thus, practicing the efficacy of self-expression, managing performance phobia and social anxiety, having a better comprehension of social cues, and being empathetic at your home and workplace are notable improvements you can make on your social skills.

3. Life Skills. Our life skills are what help us to grow the strength to build a work-life balance, effectively manage and cope with stress, and resolve a conflict peacefully. And, this is simply because these skills are a great mix of our cognitive, personal, and social skills.

5 Exercises for Building Emotional Resilience

1. Use Positivity. You can harness vibrant emotional resilience through positivity. Positivity helps you thrive through difficulties and it’s recommended that you strive to get daily doses of positivity. For instance, if there are any thoughts that you feel disturbed about, start replacing them with positive ones.

For example, you can say “it’s definitely worth trying out” instead of “I will just do nothing so that I won’t be judged”, say “I think it will be a great experience and I’ll get to make some new friends” instead of “it will be difficult for me to adjust here”, and you should as well say “it will get better if I give it some time” instead of saying “it will be impossible for me to move on”. Alternative positive thoughts can be very useful in eliminating negative thoughts and holding on to the positive will benefit your emotional resilience.

2. Use Gratitude. Your strength to recoil will be negatively affected and your ability to advance can come to a halt when you lack gratitude. Gratitude is like taking a stop to look and appreciate and then proceed. And, you should know that your resilience level has improved when you choose not to complain or stress over your losses or what you don’t have but choose to be thankful for what’s in your possession.

We all have the capacity to develop a thankful spirit and this attitude is one of the best habits we can develop. To practice gratitude, you can always keep a gratitude journal.

3. Use Self-Awareness. If you’re not aware of who you are, it will be easy for you to be tossed around here and there, and your self-esteem can take a hit. Remember the quote that “abuse is inevitable when the purpose is not known”? The idea behind self-awareness isn’t so distant from this. But, what is self-awareness exactly?

This actually has to do with having more cognizance about your mind and emotions. It starts with knowing the causative factors of a situation, being mindful of your reaction, and being in tune with the “reward” your emotion and action can fetch.

4. Use Self-Assessment. You need to assess yourself and there are a couple of questions you must ask yourself and be sincere about it. These questions include;

• Do I love my life?
• Am I so carried away by problems that I often forget to focus on solutions?
• Do I know my strengths and weaknesses?
• Do I love to be involved in a community?
• Do I respect myself and others?
• Can I handle criticism?
• Do I have people who love me?
• Am I proud of what I’ve achieved so far?
• Do I trust myself?

Your answers to these questions will let you know how resilient you are and you’ll be more aware of areas that you need to work on. More so, take note that a part of self-assessment also involves being able to acknowledge your mess so that you can do better and you don’t ignore your uncomfortable emotions like they don’t matter.

5. Use Simple Meditation. When you practice simple mediation daily, you can resolve emotional agitation that’s usually ushered in by stress. Your emotional resilience can improve with mindfulness and guided meditation and you’ll become more immune to worry and stress when you oblige to regular meditation.

Other Things You Can Do to Build Emotional Resilience

1. Practice Acceptance. The major reason why a lot of us are exposed to thorough hardship and trauma is because we find it difficult to accept. We find it challenging to admit that things are not okay and we refuse to look at our reality. For us to overcome our challenges, we must first accept. Acceptance here doesn’t relate to being complacent or throwing in the towel, it simply has to do with positioning yourself to have more control and you exert willingness to make room for what will be by surrendering to what is.

2. Prioritize Self-care. It’s very pertinent to reckon with self-care if you want to build emotional resilience. A lot of us find it easy to forget about ourselves and it isn’t intentional; it’s just the responsibilities and the plenty of things to do that often make us lose sight of ourselves. When you’re in a proactive and healthy position, your ability to cope with life’s obstacles will be strengthened, and this is simply because of the connection between our physical and emotional health.

3. Ask for Help. The weight of the world is too heavy for anyone to shoulder it alone all by himself or herself. In facing a challenge, we need all the social support we can get.

Note that you need someone to lean on, even though you live to take on your battles yourself because there are usually some situations when your ability to pick yourself up after you’ve fallen will be determined by the support network you have.

5. Embrace Fear. To some people, fear is a weakness, and to some, it’s an adventure. The simple question you should ask yourself now is if you do run away from fear or embrace it when you experience it. A number of persons are put at a disadvantaged spot where living their best life spirals into an illusion because of their fear. However, your willingness to face your fear can give you many benefits than you’d imagined and you never even know if this fear would turn out to be your launching pad into greatness.

6. Learn from Failure. Failure is a part of life and it’s normal for us to fail because there’s nothing abnormal about failure. Without failure, we cannot be fully driven to reach that climax that drives us to satisfaction, we cannot see how much more we can do, and our motivation may be shallow. You’re never a failure if you fail. It’s more like an opportunity to be wiser, know better, and be exposed to ideas that don’t work and ideas that could work better. And, the reality of life is that you’re not trying if you’re not failing.

7. Find humor. Life is too short to perpetually wallow in our shortcomings. And, while it’s very easy to get smeared in negativity when you’re having a hard time and feeling stressed, finding humor can be very relaxing and offer great therapy.